


Mac + Emotions

by ConsultingJedi221b



Series: My Bad Things Happen Bingo Prompt Fills [2]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016) Whump, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Emotional Hurt, Gen, I live in denial, Jack Dalton is not dead, Mac only thinks he is, Macgyver 5x05, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Prompt Fill, i know this is has been done before
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:46:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29880651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConsultingJedi221b/pseuds/ConsultingJedi221b
Summary: My take on Mac's breakdown in 5x05.(Jack isn't actually dead, Mac just thinks he is)
Relationships: Jack Dalton & Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: My Bad Things Happen Bingo Prompt Fills [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2097204
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Mac + Emotions

**Author's Note:**

> I know this has been done before, but I hope I made it a bit original.  
> This is not my best work (by far), but I hope you guys enjoy it!!
> 
> Written for Bad Things Happen Bingo.

Angus MacGyver was not having a good day. Actually, that was an understatement, he was having what very well could be called the worst day of his life. First, he had found out that his best friend and partner, Jack, had been killed. Then, he had to stay strong for his team as they hunted down the man, at least they had thought it was a man, who had been responsible for his death, and that had been right after he had realized that Jack’s death had been for nothing, Kovacs was still alive. 

He had, by sheer force of will made it through the mission, trying his best to not let the flood of emotions slowly drowning him show on his face. His team needed him at his best, and he owed it to them to deliver. No matter how hard it was, he could not break down in front of his team. They shouldn’t have to be the ones to comfort him. This was a burden he needed to bear by himself.

He knew how crazy that thought was, they were a team, they were meant to share things. But still, he couldn’t bring himself to open up with anyone, even as Riley and him spoke on the jet, she opened herself up to him, and he responded with comforting words and the promise of a Die Hard marathon the next day.

So, he waited until they were all asleep. Their mission had been physically and emotionally taxing, and Riley and the rest of the team were exhausted. Mac didn’t blame them, he felt the same way, but his emotions were threatening to spill over, and, even though he was fairly certain they were out cold, he couldn’t risk them seeing the despair slowly creeping on to his face, his mask slipping as exhaustion began to set in. He quietly, careful not to startle any of his sleeping friends, made his way out of his seat and into the aisle. 

His hand was on the doorknob to the bathroom when the first tear slid down his cheek. Mac quickly shut and locked the door behind him. 

For a minute, he just stood there, tears slowly trailing paths down his cheeks, letting all the emotions run over him, no longer bottled up by his instinctive urge to hide away all his sadness and pain, for the benefit of others, usually to the detriment of himself. 

As the emotions flooded his body, he went from crying to sobbing. The few tears slowly tracking down his face turned into a tidal wave. That was the first emotion, overwhelming sadness. 

Jack was  _ gone.  _ Both of them had known that their jobs were risky, there had been enough close calls to show them that much, but after years of mission after mission, with both of them returning in one piece, it seemed almost impossible that either one of them would die. 

But it wasn’t. Jack was  _ dead.  _

The tears started coming even faster, and Mac slumped to the ground, his head against the wall. 

_ Why Jack? Why did you have to go? _

That’s when the second emotion Mac had been suppressing bubbled to the surface: anger.

He was angry at Jack for leaving him and everyone else alone.

_ Why did you have to go on that stupid mission?  _

He was angry at Kovacs for being the reason Jack was dead. 

He was angry at himself.

_ If you had only gone with him, or tried harder to keep him from going. Maybe he would still be-- _

Mac slammed his fists into the cold grey floor, and then, suddenly, it was gone, the anger he had been feeling washed out of him, replaced once again by sorrow.

A wave of exhaustion nearly overtook him as he slumped even further into the wall.

He sobbed desperately, thinking of Jack.

_ Was he scared in his last moments? Did he know he was going to die? _

_ Was he calling for help that never came? _

Mac could barely keep his eyes open as he continued to cry, all his defenses now gone. He was glad that his team was asleep, so they wouldn’t see how broken he was at that moment. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, his tears slowed. He thought about getting up and walking back to his seat, but at that moment, he was too tired to stand. Instead, he simply closed his eyes, leaned his head back against the wall, and slept, his slight sniffles heard even as his body gave in to exhaustion. 

When he would wake, he would see the concerned, but understanding looks on his teammates' faces, and know that perhaps, he didn’t have to be so alone in his grieving.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!  
> Comments are always appreciated!  
> Have a wonderful day!


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